The Parables
Series
#6
“FORGIVEN FORGIVERS!”
TEXT: Matt.
18:21-35
INTRO: Forgiveness
is an essential part of any relationship and it is a continual part of all
relationships. It is perhaps the
most difficult of all things to do!
As a boy I felt a keen sense of
the need for forgiveness -- I would ask for forgiveness constantly from God and
from my family. (I even hit a parked car one day while
riding my bike praying for forgiveness … later it helped when I realized the
Bible said, “watch and pray!” – kept my eyes
open after that while riding and praying!)
Too often our “option” minded society has led us down
a path that makes us think that the kingdom of God has options in
it.
ILLUS: Buying
a car: we look for options: color, make, model, stereo, carpet
style, etc. So when it comes to
God's kingdom we begin to think of what Jesus said as things we can think about
and consider as options:
a.
Loving
b.
Giving
c.
Forgiving!
d.
Faithfulness
Many
Christians “choose” which of these they will obey as they would choose “options”
on a vehicle.
PROP.
SENT: There can be no
relationship with God without being forgiven and without being a forgiver! In God's kingdom forgiving is not an
option! -- It is a duty!
I. NEED OF FORGIVENESS
Matt. 18:21-27
A. Debt!
Matt. 18:21-25
1. Peter’s original question about how
many times should he forgive someone was interesting! He tries to look good by suggesting
to Jesus up to 7 times!
a. The reason this sounded great was
that traditional Rabbinic teaching in Jesus’ day
was to forgive someone up to 3 times in one day … and Peter was
suggesting they go up to 7 times; more than twice the Rabbi’s
commands!
b. He must have figured Jesus was really going
to pat him on the back for his more than spiritual
response!!!
c. Jesus’ response must have taken the
wind out of Peter’s prideful response … when Jesus said, “not seven times,
but seventy-seven times.” He did not literally mean 490 times in
one day, but was exaggerating to mean “the number
should not be counted Peter!”
We can deduce that because no one would likely do the same sin 490 times
in a single day against you! Jesus
was using hyperbole to make the point, not a literal new high
number.
d. How often we want to attach “rules” or “limits” to our forgiveness … but Jesus taught
otherwise! And this was the point;
forgiveness should have no boundaries in the kingdom of
God!
e. Even Peter’s greater generosity
than the Pharisees didn’t come close to what God expects of us! Peter could take no pride in his “own extra
grace” – it still fell far short of God’s
grace!
2. Sin is
costly!
3. Our debt is greater than our
ability to pay – as is the man in this parable that Jesus speaks
about!
a. The man owed millions and millions
of dollars! (10,000 talents are equal today to several
millions of dollars in our currency – quite possibly over
$10,000,000!)
b. This man couldn't pay his debt even
if he wanted to, he was a servant!
Servants in Jesus’ day just didn’t make millions of
dollars!
ILLUS: He
who cannot forgive others breaks the bridge over which he must pass
himself. – George Herbert – James S.
Hewett, Illustrations Unlimited (Wheaton: Tyndale House Publishers, Inc, 1988)
p. 223.
B. Delivered!
Matt.
18:26
1. Fallacy!
a. The idea that this servant said he
would “pay
back everything” is a complete joke, he was delusional here! He could no more pay back several
millions of dollars than the man in the moon!
b. He was a poor servant in debt by
millions, the idea he would pay it all back was silly! This is the act of desperation – no
doubt caused by the realization that the master was about to take his wife and
children and himself as slaves in return for the debt (see 18:25) and literally everything he owned … in
other words; he was hopeless and his debt not only destroyed his own life but
that of his family!
2. Canceled the
debt!
a. This desperation act however got an
interesting reaction from the master … the master “took pity on
him” and totally forgives the debt of millions of dollars
owed!!!
b. An impossible debt is canceled
out of pure grace by the master!
3. This is real forgiveness --
freedom!
a. The servant couldn’t repay the
debt!
b. The servant didn’t deserve the
mercy!
c. The servant wasn’t owed the
grace!
d. The
servant however became the recipient of pure forgiveness and freedom
resulted!
4. How should someone forgiven so much
feel toward others who owe so little?
ILLUS: A
young soldier was going off to fight in World War II against the Japanese. As his father put him on the train and
waved good-bye, he turned with bitter tears and said, "If my son is killed, I
hope every Jap in the world is killed!"
Yet the fact that the father was a Christian made it difficult to feel
that way in reality. He had a
fierce struggle with himself and finally realized that it was not Christian to
hate, whether his son lived or died. He declared rather, "I will not hate. I refuse to be destroyed by
hate!"
A year later the son was
killed. Soon life insurance money
arrived. The father did not really
need the ten thousand dollars so he sent it to the Southern Baptist Foreign
Mission Board and designated it for missions to the
Japanese.
How could the father do that? Only by the miracle of Calvary. Only God can change bitterness and hate
into love. -- James S. Hewett,
Illustrations Unlimited (Wheaton: Tyndale House Publishers, Inc, 1988) pp.
220-221.
II. PROGRAM OF FORGIVENESS Matt.
18:28-30
A. Rare! Matt. 18:28
1. Often confused
with:
a.
Politeness
b. Tact
c. Diplomacy
d. Forgetting -- the issue is not
primarily forgetting, but forgiving.
e. Not just resolution, but
restoration!
2. Notice that when this servant who
was forgiven so much meets a fellow servant who owes him so little (a few dollars in our currency!) and he
“grabbed him
and began to choke him.”
a. This wicked forgiven servant now
makes demands on a fellow servant that owes him a few bucks … after treating him
to a beating!
b. Though he had been treated
extremely well by his master; he treats poorly his own fellow
servant!
c. What is wrong with this
picture? He who had been forgiven
much, can’t forgive a tiny amount from a fellow
servant?
d. Yet, how about us? Do we ever do this with
others?
ILLUS: On
October 17, 1978 Jefferson Davis, President of the Confederacy, was "forgiven"
by the government of the United States.
He had been dead since 1889.
Before the Civil War he had been a congressman, a senator, and a cabinet
member. After the war he was
imprisoned for two years without trial.
Then he was released from prison, but his citizenship was not restored
until 1978, a little too late to do him any good. -- Robert C. Shannon, 1000
Windows, (Cincinnati, Ohio: Standard Publishing Company,
1997).
B. Hard! Matt.
18:29-30a
1. Contradicts our idea of
fairness!
a. The fellow servant makes the same
request, to be patient and he will repay all … only this time it is a reasonable
request, he probably really can repay a few dollars given some
time!
b. There is the possibility of making
this right if allowed some time!
This was not an unreasonable request by this fellow
servant.
c. The hard hearted first servant
however refuses to allow the request; though he had made the same request,
though his own request was foolish pride … he could never have repaid his master
millions of dollars!
d. He just wanted his own
satisfaction!
2. Denies compensation – “But I
deserve...”
3. Real forgiveness accepts hurt and
suffering and deals with it!
ILLUS: When
King Henry II was provoked to take up arms against his ungrateful and rebellious
son, he besieged him in one of the French towns. The son, being near to death, desired to
see his father and confess his wrongdoing, but the stern old sire refused to
look the rebel in the face. The
young man being sorely troubled in his conscience said to those about him, "I am
dying, take me from my bed, and let me lie in sackcloth and ashes, in token of
my sorrow for my ingratitude to my father."
Thus he died, and when the tidings
came to the old man outside the walls that his boy had died in ashes, repentant
for his rebellion, he threw himself upon the earth like another David, and said,
"Would God I had died for him." The
thought of his boy's broken heart touched the heart of the father. --
Charles Haddon Spurgeon, The Quotable Spurgeon, (Wheaton: Harold Shaw
Publishers, Inc, 1990)
4. It denies my rights at getting
even!
5. It means compassion, not
compensation!
C. Costly! Matt. 18:30b
1. Costs my
pride!
2. Costs the pleasure of getting
even!
a. He could have gotten the repayment
from this guy with a little additional time, but instead chooses to punish
him!
b. Jail will take longer, but the pain
inflicted will make him feel superior!
3. Failed forgiveness costs my time
and maybe even pain and hurt!
4. Costs my
rights!
ILLUS: There
is one eternal principle which will be valid as long as the world lasts. The principle is -- Forgiveness is a
costly thing. Human forgiveness is
costly. A son or a daughter may go
wrong; a father or a mother may forgive; but forgiveness has brought tears. ...
There was the price of a broken heart to pay.
Divine forgiveness is costly. God is love, but God is holiness. God, least of all, can break the great
moral laws on which the universe is built.
Sin must have its punishment or the very structure of life
disintegrates. And God alone can
pay the terrible price that is necessary before men can be forgiven. Forgiveness is never a case of saying:
"It's all right; it doesn't matter."
Forgiveness is the most costly thing in the world. -- William Barclay in The Letter
to Hebrews. Christianity Today,
Vol. 36, no. 11.
5. Yet we are to forgive
freely!
III. SCOPE OF FORGIVENESS Matt. 18:31-35
A. Immediate!
Matt. 18:31-32
1. Unconditional!
a. Doesn't require
proof.
b. Christ forgave his executioners at the cross not after the
cross!
2. Upon request!
a. Granted
immediately.
b. Not a “wait and see”
attitude.
ILLUS: Clara
Barton was never known to hold resentment against anyone. One time a friend recalled to her a
cruel thing that had happened to her some years previously, but Clara seemed not
to remember the incident. "Don't
you remember the wrong that was done you?" the friend asked Clara. She answered calmly, "No, I distinctly
remember forgetting that." -- James S. Hewett,
Illustrations Unlimited (Wheaton: Tyndale House Publishers, Inc, 1988) p.
216.
c. The other servants who witnessed
this mean spirited servant went to the master immediately … they could see the
obvious travesty of justice here in forgiveness!
d. You know, the world is watching
those who call themselves “Christians” and all our talk about “forgiveness” and
how we treat others too! It will
make little sense to talk about a wonderful God who has forgiven us so much when
we can’t even forgive little things about one another!
3. How do we treat fellow servants?
B. Continual Matt. 18:33
1. Not rehearsed!
a. By our
actions
b. By our
words
2. Not postponed!
a. “I'll get even
one day for this...”
b. “Just wait
until they want some help from me...”
c. Rejoicing over their hurt later
from something that happens down the road.
3. Not just a cover up -- a removal or
postponement!
ILLUS: A
man lay on his deathbed, harassed by fear because he had harbored hatred against
another. He sent for the individual
with whom he had had a disagreement years before; he then made overtures of
peace. The two of them shook hands
in friendship. But as the visitor
left the room, the sick man roused himself and said, "Remember, if I get over
this, the old quarrel stands." -- G. Ray Jordan -- James S.
Hewett, Illustrations Unlimited (Wheaton: Tyndale House Publishers, Inc, 1988)
p. 216.
4. The master had let the first
servant leave after forgiving his debt of millions … there would be no rehearsal
of his debt, no reminders of his debt, he was a free man once
forgiven.
a. The only reason now for bringing
him back and reminding him of what he had been forgiven of was because of his
failure to forgive a small debt of a fellow servant and the horrible treatment
he had given that fellow servant.
b. Had this not happened there would
never have been a reminder of his previous debt.
5. The canceled debt was good forever
… had he extended mercy to others.
6. We who have been given much, owe
much.
C. Final Matt.
18:34-35
1. If it isn't rehearsed it may
eventually die in the memory too!
2. Forgetting is the result of true
forgiveness not the process of forgiving!
3. Healing of relationships demonstrates final
forgiveness!
a. The real proof of true forgiveness
comes in the restoration of a relationship!
ILLUS: On
a cold winter evening a man suffered a heart attack and after being admitted to
the hospital, asked the nurse to call his daughter. He explained, "You see, I live alone and
she is the only family I have." The
nurse went to phone the daughter.
The daughter was quite upset and shouted, "You must not let him die! You
see, Dad and I had a terrible argument almost a year ago. I haven't seen him since. All these months I've wanted to go to
him for forgiveness. The last thing
I said to him was 'I hate you."'
The daughter cried and then said, "I'm coming now. I'll be there in thirty
minutes."
The patient went into cardiac
arrest, and code 99 was alerted.
The nurse prayed, "O God, his daughter is coming. Don't let it end this way." The efforts of the medical team to
revive the patient were fruitless.
The nurse observed one of the doctors talking to the daughter outside the
room. She could see the pathetic
hurt in her face. The nurse took
the daughter aside and said, "I'm sorry."
The daughter responded, "I never hated him, you know. I loved him, And now I want to go see
him." The nurse took her to the
room, and the daughter went to the bed and buried her face in the sheets as she
said good-bye to her deceased father.
The nurse, as she tried not to look at this sad good-bye, noticed a scrap
of paper on the bed table. She
picked it up and read: "My dearest Janie, I forgive you. I pray you will also forgive me. I know that you love me. I love you, too Daddy." -- James S. Hewett,
Illustrations Unlimited (Wheaton: Tyndale House Publishers, Inc, 1988) p.
201.
b. This is what the master originally
did for this first servant at first; he restored him to a free
man.
c. This is what Christ did for us; He
restores us to relationship with God.
4. When we forgive someone it becomes
real when they are restored to relationship with us.
a. If we hold them off and ignore
them, they are not restored; hence we have not truly forgiven them – and cannot
find our own forgiveness.
b. The wicked servant will not be
forgiven because he failed to forgive so little from a fellow servant … and in
fact, he will not only go to jail, but be tortured until he dies for his failure
to forgive – now he must pay back the millions he owed originally! Mat 18:34 “In anger his master turned him over to the
jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he
owed.”
c. The debt is cancelled, not ignored
or avoided in real forgiveness … it must be final or our own sins will come back
unforgiven!
IV. FREEDOM OF
FORGIVENESS!
A. The
Offender
1. Freedom
from:
a. Guilt
b. Penalty
c. Consequences (Although sometime restitution should be
made where possible)
d. Severed
relationships.
2. Freedom
to:
a. Have peace
again!
b. To try a new
start.
c. Have a new
relationship.
d. Experience
grace!
ILLUS: A
man in conversation with John Wesley once made the comment, "I never forgive."
Wesley wisely replied, "Then, sir, I hope that you never sin." -- Quoted by Ron Klassen in the
Christian Leader (Sept. 12, 1989). Christianity Today, Vol. 33, no.
17.
B. The
Offended
1. Freedom
from:
a.
Bitterness
b. Revenge
c. Hurt in the long
run.
ILLUS: Chris
Carrier of Coral Gables, Florida, was abducted when he was 10 years old. His
kidnapper, angry with the boy's family, burned him with cigarettes, stabbed him
numerous times with an ice pick, then shot him in the head and left him to die
in the Everglades. Remarkably, the
boy survived, though he lost sight in one eye. No one was ever
arrested.
Recently, a man confessed to the
crime. Carrier, now a youth
minister at Granada Presbyterian Church, went to see
him.
He found David McAllister, a
77-year-old ex-convict, frail and blind, living in a North Miami Beach nursing
home. Carrier began visiting often,
reading to McAllister from the Bible and praying with him. His ministry opened the door for
McAllister to make a profession of faith.
No arrest is forthcoming; after 22
years, the statute of limitations on the crime is long past. In Christian Reader (Jan/Feb 98),
Carrier says, "While many people can't understand how I could forgive David
McAllister, from my point of view I couldn't not forgive him. If I'd chosen to hate him all these
years, or spent my life looking for revenge, then I wouldn't be the man I am
today, the man my wife and children love, the man God has helped me to
be." -- Merv Budd, London,
Ontario. Leadership, Vol. 19, no.
2.
d. Broken
relationships.
2. Freedom
to:
a. Love
again.
b. Peace
c. To understand others and
ourselves.
d. To have a new
relationship.
C. To
Both
1. To experience something of the
Divine!
a. To know what it is to have God's
heart and God's favor.
b. To sense what God
senses!
2. To taste the glory of grace and
mercy.
ILLUS: Not
long before she died in 1988, in a moment of surprising candor on television,
Marghanita Laski, one of our best-known secular humanists and novelists, said:
"What I envy most about you Christians is your forgiveness; I have nobody to
forgive me." -- John Stott in The
Contemporary Christian. Christianity Today, Vol. 38, no. 7.
3. To have God's forgiveness as well
as a better relationship!
a. With God!
b. With each
other!
CONCLUSION:
In God's kingdom
forgiveness is not an option, it is mandatory -- to be forgiven and to
forgive! God has called us to be
forgiven forgivers!
"Forgive as
freely as the Lord has forgiven you." Col. 3:13
"Be ready to
forgive others as God for Christ sake hath forgiven you." Eph.
4:32