“Great
Issues Of Life” Series #1
"MARRIAGE!"
TEXTS: Gen.
2:18-25 Heb. 13:4 Prov. 5:15-23; 1 Pet. 3:1-7; 1 Cor. 7:1O-17
INTRO:
One
woman’s response to why she had a happy marriage on her 50th wedding anniversary
was this: On her wedding day she decided to make a list of ten of her husband’s
faults that she would be willing to forgive or overlook for the sake of their
marriage. A guest asked her to
share some of those ten things ... this was her response: "To tell you the
truth, I never did finish the list ... but whenever my husband did something
that made me hopping mad I would say to myself, "Lucky for him that that was one of the
10!"
–
Source Unknown
Marriage
is never completely smooth or easy!
But it can be a blessing when some of the God created dynamics is adhered
to: Some important "rules" are necessary for healthy
marriages...
a. There must be both give
& take ... even God who loves everyone won't allow everyone to go to heaven
unless the sinner responds by giving himself back to God in
love!
b. Like a narrow
bridge ... there will be fewer "collisions" if there is a yield
sign on BOTH sides of the bridge!
c. Accepting forgiveness and giving it
will be an absolute to keep going!
d. Like a building … it never gets
built without workers, good marriages don't just happen ... they are built; and
if you use rotten stuff to build with the possibilities are greater for collapse
later!
e. While a
marriage might be made in heaven ... we are responsible for the maintenance on
earth!
PROP.
SENT: Marriage is an honorable
institution, the most basic and most important framework for society and for
human health; spiritually, physically, and
psychologically!
I. MARRIAGE BOND Gen. 2:18-25 Heb. 13:4a
A. Pleasant!
Gen. 2:18,23 Heb.
13:4a
1. It is an honorable creation ...
part of the "VERY GOOD" that God pronounced about His work
of creation!
2. Unless someone is gifted by God to
remain single, marriage is the natural state that God planned for the
human race! (Male & Female were brought together by
God; there was no other combination God ever
made!)
3. It is noteworthy that God noticed
Adam was not as happy as he could be ... giving Eve to Adam was God's desire to
create in Adam an even greater joy!
The statement by God, “It is not good for the man to be alone” clearly
identifies that God knew something more was needed for a greater capacity in
Adam.
a. Marriage therefore has this capacity ... to bring great
joy!
b. God realized Adam needed something
besides even God!
c. A wife for Adam was a "GOOD THING"
in God’s pronunciation.
d. Notice in Proverbs 18:22 "He
who findeth a wife findeth a good thing and obtains favor from the
Lord" (KJV)
(1. It should be noticed that God added “favor” to those who finds a
wife!
(2. This was a relationship of ONE MAN … with
ONE WOMAN where it is stated that they “obtain favor
from the Lord.”
e. Sorrows could be divided ... their
joys would be multiplied!
4. It was God who created Eve for Adam
so Adam's full humanity could be blessed!
5. Marriage is intended by God to be a
pleasant reality between a man and a woman!
a. This is the ONLY model God Himself
sanctioned or created in the Bible.
b. All other forms or distortions of
this, including the polygamous relationships of many spouses in the Old
Testament was about what man did to the institution, not what God declared or
created.
c. It might be noted that any
deviation from the “created” order by
God has never served well one or
the other/s in the relationship.
B. Powerful Gen.
2:20-23
1. Rather than start from scratch
again ... God creates Eve right from Adam's own body to create a powerful bond
between them, not just a psychological bond but an actual physical and spiritual
one as well! "This is now bone
of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called 'woman,' for she was
taken out of man."
2. Hence the power in the sexual
relationship within marriage ... it creates a powerful physical bond between
husband and wife and thus there is great damage if it is violated by either
party! Also, physically God made
the man and the woman to sexually “compliment” each other; created for union
with each other physically and in every way.
3. Adam understood this powerful
dynamic as soon as he awoke ... this woman created by God was not just another
creature that God would parade by him to be named … it was "BONE OF HIS BONE
... FLESH OF HIS FLESH!"
4. Adam could not look at Eve like any
other part of creation that had been made apart from him! This bond was powerful and
real!
5. God plays out the role of "BEST
MAN" by bringing Eve to Adam for the ceremony of bonding! God presided at the first wedding – “and he brought her to the man.”
6. God takes great delight in loving
marriages ... so much so that Jesus often used the “husband and
wife” metaphor as did other New Testament writers to express
God's love for His church!
7. Adam's first word when he woke up
and saw Eve was in the Hebrew tongue a demonstrative adverb that can loosely be
translated, "WOW!" (Translated in the KJV and most
translations simply as "This is...") In a more loosely translated statement it
would read, "WOW, BONE OF MY BONE, FLESH OF MY
FLESH."
a. She was a pleasant sight to behold
– the “WOW” factor!
b. And he was excited – the “WOW”
factor!
c. It was powerful – the “WOW”
factor!
C. Permanent!
Gen.
2:24-25
1. God's ideal was for marriage to be
a permanent relationship once entered into!
2. Not only this, but God's plan also
intended for the new couple to get OUT from under dad and mom ... to leave
them! “For
this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife,
and they will become one flesh.” Gen.
2:24
a. Not just in a physical sense ...
there is also a sphere of authority ... to establish a new unit of
authority!
b. Not meant to be a bad thing ... it
was meant to be a “good thing!”
3. The union was to be a lasting one
between husband and wife (male and
female)!
4. Jesus later added to the Old
Testament statement, 4 Haven't you
read," he replied, "that at the beginning the Creator 'made them male and
female,' 5 and said, 'For this reason a man will leave his
father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh'?
6 So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has
joined together, let man not separate." Matt. 19:4-6
(The
underlined portion was added by Jesus)
5. God hates
divorce ... Malachi 2:16a “I hate divorce,"
says the LORD God of Israel…” simply because it is not part of God's
design for a man and woman, but GOD DOES NOT
HATE “DIVORCED PEOPLE,” HE HATES
DIVORCE because of the pain and damage it brings to all those affected by
it!
a. There is healing for those whose
lives have been damaged in this way.
b. God can restore broken lives …
again, it is
not the “divorced people” God hates; it is
what happens to people who go through a divorce that God hates.
6. We should view marriage as God does
... thus take it seriously and to be cautious before the commitment is made ...
and once made, do our best to make it permanent!
II. MARRIAGE BED Prov. 5:15-23 Heb. 13:4b
A. Private Prov. 5:15-17 Heb. 13:4b
1. "Marriage bed
is to be kept pure!" Heb. 13:4b “Marriage should be honored by all, and the
marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually
immoral.”
a. This is a straight-forward command
here about sexual purity!
b. The deeper the wound the longer the
time required for complete healing ... sexual sins goes deep, it affects
the entire being; body, mind, and soul!
Therefore this sin is very painful and deep!
c. Solomon's words about marriage in
Prov. 5:15 are very clear ... "DRINK FROM YOUR
OWN CISTERN!"
2. Not only does Solomon clearly state
that the sexual relationship is to be limited to only your spouse ... he
adds “Let them
be yours alone, never to be shared with strangers.” Prov. 5:17
a. Unlike great food recipes ...
sexual recipes in a marriage should be private
and not shared with others, even by
word!b.
Maybe that's why we call sexual organs "private
parts!"
3. Keep the secrets of your love
life ... and don't compare notes with others!
B. Pleasurable!
Prov.
5:18-19
1. You can't miss the sense of joy in
Solomon's words to enjoy each other!
2. Sex in marriage in neither disgusting nor dirty ... it is desirable and delightful!
3. And that's all I will say about
this (with a smile on my
face!)
C. Price!
Prov. 5:20-23
1. Solomon adds to this passage the
heavy price paid by those who stray from this purity.
2. Misery is the result of those who
choose to ignore this exclusive relationship!
3. Verse 23 takes on a
very literal meaning in light of today's problems with venereal
diseases!
a. Physical disease however is not
the only pain...
b. There is also loss of
trust.
c. Emotional scars and deep wounds
that take time and great effort to heal!
4. Those few
moments of physical pleasure have a huge price tag attached to them
that most in moments of honesty will later admit are not worth the
price!
ILLUS: In
1982 ABC "evening news" reported on an unusual work of modern art that stirred
great controversy. It was a chair
fixed to a shotgun, to be viewed by the individual by sitting in the chair
looking straight down the barrel of the gun ... to add an even more bizarre
twist to this "piece of artwork" the
"artist?" had attached a timer on the
gun and put live rounds of ammunition in the gun barrel ... the timer was set to
go off sometime within the next 100 years ... but unknown by everyone except the
artist! The most ironic thing
happened when the gallery was open to the public ... people waited in huge lines
to get a chance to sit in this chair and stare into the barrel of the gun
knowing the real danger ... each person was allowed only 1 minute in the
chair! People by the scores were
foolish enough to do this ... assuming of course that their chances were slim
for the gun to go off ... yet people do this all the time with sexual sin ...
and sure enough they discover the tragedy of those few minutes with sin ...
great destruction! –
Source Unknown
5. How much better to follow God's
plan and be free of both guilt and pain, aside from being free from more than a
dozen venereal diseases and emotional trauma!
III. MARRIAGE BEHAVIOR! 1 Cor. 7:10-17; 1 Pet.
3:1-7
A. Peace!
1 Cor. 7:10-17
1. Paul's message to a church of
imperfect saints at Corinth included the following advice on marriage: PEACE!
2. Divorce was to be avoided IF
possible!
3. If not possible (continued sexual
infidelity (adultery) or perhaps physical abuse that was ongoing) ... then those
departing the relationship were to seek staying single or reconcile if possible
later! (1 Cor. 7:11)
a. The other possible problems come in
where a believer is married to the unbeliever and here Paul is clear to state
that the believer should not seek the divorce...
b. Only if the unbeliever chooses to
end the marriage is the believer free ... but they need to know in their heart
that they sought a "PEACEFUL" relationship together with them
first!
4. Living peaceably with the
unbeliever may have a sanctifying affect upon their unsaved partner that could
lead to their salvation ... and so as much as is possible for the believer they
must seek a peaceful lifestyle with their spouse who is an
unbeliever!
5. If the unbelieving spouse allows no
possible marriage and seeks divorce, only then can the believer know they are
free!
a. This is
not a call for the believer to make the unbeliever as miserable as they
can in the hopes they will divorce them
either!
b. Nor is this a
call to ram Christianity down their throats or threaten them if they don't
receive Christ!
6. The underlying principle of Paul's
comments here is "GOD HAS CALLED US TO LIVE IN PEACE!" 1 Cor. 7:15
7. For those who have entered into the
Kingdom following a previous divorce situation Paul's message is clear in 1 Cor. 7:17 "Retain
the place in life that the Lord ... called them
in."
8. See also 1 Cor. 7:21 for the same basic
idea!
9. Thus the believer's role in a
marriage is clear ... to seek peace as much as is possible to the believer … and honoring God's design on
marriage!
10. If the unbelieving spouse destroys or seeks
divorce then the believer's conscience and position will be much more peaceful
and God will not hold them under bondage should they refuse to stay!
B. Purity! 1 Pet.
3:1-7
1. Peter joins in on this teaching by
admonishing basically the same thing ... stressing the purity of motive and
methods of the believer in their behavior in an uneven
marriage!
2. If anything, Peter encourages the
believer to forgo preaching to their spouse and instead encourages their
living a pure heart out in action!
a. A good example of the old adage: "action speaks
louder than words."
b. It makes little sense to argue or
guilt someone into the kingdom ... it doesn't usually work!
c. But just as "the goodness of
God leads men to repentance" so can the pure behavior of a godly
attitude lead an unbelieving spouse to the Lord!
3. The whole concept of Peter's use of
the term "SUBMISSIVE" and "WEAKER" has NO force of "INFERIOR" or "SLAVERY!"
a. It only means "YIELDING" ... seeking the others best
welfare!
b. And the "WEAKER
VESSEL" is simply a metaphor recognizing the female's smaller
physical size and physical strength as compared generally to a male's
physique!
c. Peter was NOT "down" on
women!
4. The point of the passage is purity
of motives and actions ... being led by and controlled by God's Spirit verses
our own will and desires!
5. Peter adds that this purity can
affect our prayer lives! 1 Pet.
3:7!
a. A great passage affirming the great
truth of 1 John's teaching on how our horizontal relationships affect our
vertical one with God!
b. They are intertwined in the
believer's life!
6. A clear and powerful prayer life
comes to those who are right with their fellow man!
7. So often the unbelieving spouse
wants so bad to "clean up" the spouse
first!
ILLUS: Guy
buys his kids a used fish tank for their 4 new goldfish. Takes it home and cleans it up real good
... the next day the fish die! He
discovers that you are NEVER to use soap in cleaning a fish tank because
the toxic material in the soap stays on the glass and thus kills the fish
later! By trying to give the fish a
clean environment he killed them ... good intentions ... bad choice of cleaning
procedures!
– Source Unknown
8. Instead of trying to make your
spouse get saved ... act saved and let God do the cleaning work on
them ... your job is not to clean them ... just live clean
yourself!
9. You have to catch a fish before you clean
them! Ask any
fisherman!
CONCLUSION: God's first and most basic
spiritual and social institution is marriage! While the word mocks it and tries
redefining it ... and Satan seeks to destroy it, God's people should hold it up
in high honor! Marriage is a gift
from God between one man and one woman and it should be treated like a precious
gift!