#6
(The “Great Escapes” Series)
"ESCAPE FROM ANGER!"
TEXTS: Matt.
5:22; Prov. 19:19; 22:24-25; Eph. 4:26; Jonah 4:1-2;
James 1:19-21
INTRO: Nothing has
done more good or harm to this world than anger! That might sound strange ... but anger
is like a coin, there are two different sides to it. Anger can be a force for good when we are
angry over the right things or it can be a force for evil when we are angry over
the wrong things.
Most
of the problems we have are over anger issues that are of the wrong kind of
anger. Unhealthy anger and its
release can have devastating impact on the person out of control and on those
they love. God offers ways to
escape the negative forms of anger and the destructive effects it has on people
and relationships.
Just
remember this; the man who says he is so angry that he is going to give you a
piece of his mind will have less of a mind to work with after he has done
so! Those who have a sharp tongue
usually cut their own throats ... and finally, the emptier the pot, the quicker
it comes to a boil!
PROP.
SENT:
The Bible teaches us that we can
really hurt and destroy our lives and others with the wrong kind of anger and
our inability to control it ... the good news is that God has given us measures
we can apply to escape the dangers of damaging anger!
I. POWER OF
ANGER
A. Determination
1. Anger can really motivate
people!
a. Anger can create a level of
motivation that is unyielding and much focused!
b. Jesus became quite angry at the
money changers in the
(1. Because of this righteous anger Jesus was
determined to shut them down!
(2. With great boldness He overturned their
tables and lashed out at them!
c. At times, anger can be a great help
in overturning evil; if we are angry at the right thing at the right time and
deal with it in the right way!
2. Anger therefore is a God-created
dynamic of our personality. God
Himself possesses the ability to get angry, by itself therefore anger is not
sinful; it is a normal part of being human!
3. Anger can sometimes help us solve
problems with creative insights, it often opens our minds to search for answers
in innovative ways.
ILLUS: A
young man named Gregory Elder spent many days on the east coast growing up.
As a young man he enjoyed creating
castles in the sand, even whole cities.
One time over several days he became angry over several young bullies
that would come by and kick his creations into oblivion! Frustrated and angry and hopelessly
outnumbered by these bullies he finally found a creative way to solve his
determination to teach these bullies a lesson. The next day he built his sand castles
around cinder blocks and large rocks, outwardly they looked no different than
any other day. Sure enough the
bullies showed up near the end of day to ruin his creation ... he took off while
they took their shoes and socks off and began to kick with great swings! You can guess the
results!
– Source Unknown
B. Destructive
1. Anger however can also take a
destructive route. We see this all
too often in the world and in our own lives!
2. Unfortunately, anger usually takes
this route ... the strength of the emotion usually drives us to react before
thinking or to respond with unforgiveness and
resentment.
a. In fact, without taking some
important steps before responding when we become angry we almost guarantee the
results will be destructive!
b. Unguided and unreasoned anger
become destructive in its goal and destructive to the one who possesses
it.
ILLUS: Alexander
the Great was energetic, versatile, and intelligent … most of the time quite
focused on his goals, very disciplined ... but anger was his Achilles’
heel! He had few weaknesses which
are why he was so successful and nearly conquered the world. His only weakness was his quick
temper. On one occasion his dearest
friend all through his life from boyhood was celebrating with him and some
others. His friend, a general,
drank a little too much and began chiding Alexander in front of the others,
making some jokes about him.
Alexander's quick temper kicked in and he grabbed a spear nearby to sling
at his best friend to scare him, but his anger obscured his normally good aim
and instead of missing his friend, he speared him right through and killed
him! Deep remorse gripped Alexander
and guilt; he tried to take his own life but was stopped in time by his
men. For days he laid sick, calling
for his friend and chiding himself as a horrible murderer. For all the many victories and cities he
had won he had lost the most important battle ... the one against destructive
anger in his own heart! It was his
downfall most of his life!
– Source Unknown
II. PENALTY OF ANGER Matt. 5:22; Prov. 19:19
A. Divisive
Matt. 5:22
1. We must distinguish between
destructive anger and fleeting anger:
a. Fleeting anger will strike us many
times but it usually doesn't leave broken lives all over ... it is usually
momentary and thus not long lasting.
b. Strong anger that doesn't subside
becomes the dangerous kind.
2. Jesus in this passage distinguishes
between these two types:
a. "Raca"
was a phrase that meant something like "you
nitwit" ... a form of anger that should still be dealt with so it
doesn’t become something worse, hence the accountability of being answerable to
the Sanhedrin. We still should be
challenged by this kind of attitude before it become something worse, but it is
not a level of anger that is likely to become severely
destructive!
b. "You
fool" however is a much stronger type of anger, more long lasting ...
the kind that seeks to destroy and humiliate others, to tear them down! To this kind of anger Jesus warns that
HIS judgment rests on the angry man ... a much more serious indictment than
having to be just challenged by mere men like the
Sanhedrin!
c. This "you
fool" anger destroys relationships, it is divisive and not healing
oriented. Jesus warns that this
type of anger will return the same kind of penalty that the one angry is trying
to impose on others!
3. Anger of this second type divides
people and destroys them ... it never accepts blame or weakness, it only blames
others and focuses on their shortcomings, it is arrogant and selfish and seeks
their destruction and humiliation.
ILLUS: Like
the manager of a minor league team who became so angry and disgusted with his
center fielder's performance that he ordered him out of the game and to the
dugout, and to prove his superiority he assumed the position himself ... to show
how it was supposed to be done. The
first ball that came to him took a bad hop and struck him in the mouth. The next ball that came to him was high
and he lost it in the glare of the sun and missed catching it! The third ball that came to him was a
line drive that he reached for with an outstretched arm but missed and it shot
right into his eye! Now more angry
that before and hurting too badly to play he came into the dugout and grabbed
the center fielder unleashing his intensified anger by shaking the man and
shouting, "You've got center field so messed up that even I can't do a thing
with it!" –
Source Unknown
4. You can't build the body of Christ
with a temper problem! It will
drive others away and leave you high and dry with
aloneness!
a. Since it is difficult for Satan to
get inside a church he settles for getting inside a saint through anger and
unleashes all kinds of division and pain!
b. Anger is the opposite of the fruit
of the Spirit called "Gentleness and
self-control."
c. Those that hurt or destroy Christ's
body (the church) will have to deal with Christ who takes His body (the church)
very seriously!
B. Debt
Prov.
19:19
1. How do we help a saint who has an
anger problem?
a. First we should challenge them,
call them to honestly face the reality of their
problem.
b. By showing them real love ... love
that not only embraces them as a fellow Christian, but love that refuses to
accept ungodly reactions from them!
2. This verse speaks clearly 2
important truths about anger:
a. There are penalties to face if we
choose to allow unrestrained anger to express itself in our
lives!
b. The friends who rescue hot-tempered
people by taking away those penalties do not save or help them – they prolong
the problem of their friend by negating the penalties!
c. This is one of the problems of our
criminal justice system today ... tough penalties are thought to be cruel and
useless, so courts often give many light sentences and then we wonder why there
are so many repeat offenders!
3. The intensity of the anger should
be met by an equal intensity of penalty!
This is also demonstrated in Jesus' words in Matt. 5:22 when Jesus said the low level of "Raca" anger should be challenged by the Sanhedrin;
still a humbling experience, but not as intense as the other kind of intense "you fool"
anger that will bring about the judgment of God Himself ... a much
stiffer penalty exacted here!
III. PURGING ANGER Eph. 4:26; Prov. 22:24-25;
Jonah 4:1-2; James 1:19-21
A. Deadlines Eph. 4:26
1. Once we understand the difference
between anger that is ok -- (is the focus to correct something or destroy
something or someone?) and anger that is ungodly, we will need to have some
guidelines to deal with it. We are
going to look at 4 Biblical ways of handling anger that will greatly lessen its
destructive nature:
2. The first way acknowledges that
normal responses of anger if not channeled correctly in the human being can
become sin!
3. The first guideline for keeping
anger from becoming destructive in our lives or damaging others is to put a deadline on its unresolved emotional
nature!
a. Here Paul says “to not let the sun
go down while you are angry.” Eph.
4:26
b. Paul's idea here is to not let a
long period of time pass without the emotion of anger finding a resolution ... a
real solution.
c. Anger by its nature ... even the
good type can become evil if allowed to simmer! THE LONGER
SOMETHING COOKS THE TOUGHER IT BECOMES!
4. Because anger involves strong
emotions that can easily get out of control and because anger can also distort
our thinking processes it is a dangerous thing to allow a long time between
the onset of the emotion and the resolution of the
problem!
ILLUS: After
the Civil war had ended and Robert E. Lee who had surrendered and lost was
visiting Kentucky, he came upon a woman who was still angry over the North's
treatment of her home and property. She took the former general of the
Confederate Army to her front yard where she pointed out what was once a grand
oak tree that had been badly damaged from mortar and bullets from the Union
army. She was hoping for Lee to
condemn the North or at least an expression of sympathy from him for what the
North had done to the once beautiful oak.
After a brief silence Lee said, "Cut it down my dear Madam, and forget
it." His point was simple ...
if it's presence was going to keep stirring her anger then get rid of it so you
can get rid of the anger, the past cannot be changed, move past it or the anger
will never leave! Put a deadline on
it!
– Source Unknown
5. This is probably the biggest reason
some Christians don't overcome their anger problems, they don't resolve the
issues surrounding their anger, they just continue to hang onto the emotion of
anger without resolution!
a. You will never succeed in solving
an anger problem if you simply ignore the issues that make you
angry.
b. If you can't let go of the anger in a short
time then deal with it!
c. The phrase in Eph.
6. A runner that has no finish line to cross
will eventually wear out and never accomplish a goal! Have a finish line to
anger!
a. Paul's use of "don't let the
sun go down" certainly implies that the time limit should be a brief
one!
b. Too
often we tell ourselves ... “I'll just
wait a few days, or weeks, then I'll deal with it!” ... more damage sets in
during that time!
c. The shorter the time poison sits in
your body the better the recovery when it is treated by a physician ... the same
works with anger!
B. Distance Prov.
22:24-25
1. The next way to overcome anger in
your life might sound a bit strange, but it is very practical and
helpful!
a. Avoid
being close friends with others who easily become angry and are out of
control!
b. This is not a statement to
encourage arrogance or superiority ... it is practical in the sense that if you
have a problem in this area you are not likely to get help for it from someone
else who has the same problem if they are still out of control
too!
c. While it is true that others with a
similar problem can help people with the same problem it works only when one of those people have
overcome the problem!
2. An individual who is easily out of
control with their anger can only teach you to do likewise ... be careful who
you become close associates with, otherwise it is the proverbial “blind leading
the blind.”
a. The antithesis of this principle
also works ... if anger is your problem, get close to someone who has this area
of their life under control and learn from them!
b. We often do become like those we
hang around! (ANGRY PARENTS -- ANGRY KIDS!)
c. Yes, Jesus spent time with broken
people ... but the largest amount of His time was spent with His disciples,
these are the ones He was "closest" to.
d. It doesn't mean avoid people with
problems, but build close relationships with those who can teach us
strengths, not weaknesses!
3. If control for you is a problem
keep some distance from those who have no control ... otherwise it might become
a stumbling block for you!
ILLUS: Remember
years ago the man who lived on Mount St. Helens, just before it blew he was
warned to put some distance between him and the volcano. He chose to ignore the warnings
believing that he would be fine.
There wasn't in his mind any danger of being so close to a "hot headed
volcano!" Unfortunately he learned
otherwise, some distance could have spare his life ... some distance from
"hot-heads" might spare you some damage too!
– Source Unknown
C. Diagnosis
Jonah
4:1-2
1. The 3rd
step to overcoming anger is to diagnose the reasons for your anger with complete
honesty!
a. Jonah was tremendously angry over
Nineveh's repentance. God
questioned him to get him to think of the reasons for his
anger!
b. God was hoping that by getting him
to think of the reasons for his anger He might nudge him to realize how
unfounded and ridiculous his anger really was!
c. In Jonah's case this first attempt
at reason didn't seem to work, but God continued this approach right unto the
end of the book; and since Jonah wrote the book he must have eventually come
around!
2. It is important to learn to put
REASON to REACTION, lest we become simply a reactionary to our emotional states,
otherwise this will get you into lots of painful situations throughout your
life!
3. Here's where praying is so helpful,
it forces you to talk to God about your anger, this will inevitably include the
process of reasoning! As you pray
you begin to see how out of control you are, or how petty you are acting, and
some healing process begins to occur as well as the KNOWLEDGE that you really
need to deal with the issue.
4. Without reason anger will greatly
distort reality!
a. Angry people tend to believe that NO ONE
likes them!
b. Angry people ALWAYS question the
motives of the people they are angry at even though reason might suggest that it
isn't likely that the person who made them angry is a “Saddam Hussein!”
c. Anger loves to rejoice over pain
that comes to those we are angry at and even justifies that pleasure by such
statements such as "they deserve it!"
D. Discipline James
1:19-21
1. Anger
cannot be overcome without discipline on our
part!
a. "Quick to
listen..."
b. "Slow to
speak..."
c. "Slow to become
angry!"
2. This requires effort on part,
deliberate effort!
a. This is what discipline is,
deliberate effort!
b. Overcoming anger doesn't JUST
HAPPEN without effort!
3. Just being quick to listen ... but
not slow to speak won't solve the problem!
a. Plenty of people are willing to
learn about how to overcome anger ... but you have to have more than just the
FACTS.
b. You must also APPLY THE FACTS ... the “slow to
speak” part!
c. The "slow to anger"
is the result of the application of the
knowledge!
d. It is the deliberate application or
discipline of knowledge with application!
4. Yes, it will require effort and
probably some time to overcome an anger problem.
5. The results can be most freeing
however for you and for those who are on the receiving end of your anger
problem!
a. James says "anger does not
bring about the righteous life that God
desires."
b. Therefore, if we desire real
righteousness that pleases God we will have to successfully guide and control
the emotion we call anger to conform to God's understanding of the use of
anger!
c. There is victory for those who
follow this 4 fold plan for controlling anger!
ILLUS: The
lack of discipline can be most damaging.
Each spring the
CONCLUSION:
God made us to feel anger!
There is no sin in the emotion, but there can be in its expression! If your history with anger is more
destructive than constructive you need to know that God has steps to help you
escape from anger. You must take
the steps however to be free!
DOESN'T IT MAKE YOU ANGRY WHEN PEOPLE DON'T
TRY!?